was okay until about an hour ago. my younger cousin (10) has lived with my family since he was 1 year old...he has a female friend, who he has known since kindergarten and she was going to stay overnight at our house...shes stayed before, so i ask my mother "why wasnt i allowed to have males sleep over?" the first thing that happened was everyone in the car laughed at me...then she said "you never asked" so i had to remind her that she wouldnt even allow me to have a boys phone number back then...to which she replied "boys and girls have different rules" and i said "well, it shouldnt be that way"

i dont know...im almost 30 and it still bothers me. i probably shouldnt care, but i do...and it hurts that they dont care that it affected me. my brother (23) was allowed to date younger than i was...double standards are for losers. the fact that my mother was so strict with me about males really shaped the way i interacted with them...with fear! i avoided them for a long time, was/am afraid to talk to them, etc.

and theyre always telling me that i hold my feelings in too much - oh, i wonder why? maybe because when i do let things out, i get laughed at by my own family.

guess im just a big, grown baby.