How long has your husband been dealing with the mental illness and how long did you go undiagnosed if at all while you were together. Either way he shouldn't be acting in this way. At least not all the time. I know personally that after a while of receiving a mental bashing and anger to myself I eventually snap and say things or act as I shouldn't. I'm only human. But that far and few considering the amount of outbursts and mood swings. Does he go to therapy with you?