The depression is finally wearing me thin.
I have an appointment with a new T on tuesday the 20th of August but I wish it was tomorrow.
I have become so run down with the day to day fight against depression. I have been doing pretty well but new stress has taken me back down even farther than I was before.
I can't live like this anymore.
I am tired of fighting this disease. I am tired of people who don't understand mental illness. I am sick of all of my financial pressure and if anything, that will be my undoing.
I am tired of being alone and having no one to love. This is not life. Its just drudgery and its killing me.

Sure, I will get jacked up on caffiene and forget all this for a while...but soon it will be back and I will be bleary eyed and on the verge of tears that wont come. Then it will be time to go fake it at work again for 8 more hours...pretend that I give a crap...and return home to an empty apartment where I have nothing but my stuff. I dont even have much stuff.
I am whining, so please excuse my post. This is not normally like me, but I am afraid its what I am becoming and I must put an end to it.
So I hope to get some new meds soon...I gotta get happy cause I cant handle this down depression crap any longer.