Thank you for your reply.

That's something to think about, some women might not totally greive if they didn't go through the whole birth process. It would be interesting to see if there is some kind of study on this--- do women fair better that go through a vaginal birth, as far as coping with the loss-- vs.- those that had a c-section....... I wonder if there is such a study??

Yes, I can sure understand how hiding emotional pain away(like some of us have done) is not usually the best way to go. Dealing with it from the beginning will more than likely keep things in the best perspective -- not allowing things to "fester", I suppose.

I think for me the "cruel" part isn't so much them making her face the loss-- but having her go through the painful, long labor-- only to-- NOT get the end "reward" (a baby) . That's the part I'm struggling with-- but maybe like you said--- it's for the best--, I'm just not sure.(I have a hard time trusting that doctors know what is best-- they're sure not infallible(IMO).)

Thank you for sharing another possible explanation for this sad and difficult situation, it's certainly something to consider.

mandy