SweetSunshine, you feel bad about your abuser because you are in a far better place mentally than he is, and so you now see him as inferior to you, which is great as he obviously has no power over you anymore. allow these pity feelings to run there course, they will pass.

you are mentally strong enough and well eductaed to realise how he may have got to to stage he is at.

but, all said and done, he is still responsible for his actions, he still had 2 options to chose from, 1: to walk away, or 2:abuse you as he did. he knew right from wrong, otherwise he would offend often, but he still chose to abuse you. and no, you didnt deserve what happened. he is the one who made the mistakes, and he is the one who has to live with them, you are stronger and can move on from what happened.

so let the feleings pass and try to forget him, try to forget special occasions such as his birthday etc, and just seperate you from the ties he has placed upon you.

simon