Thank you all.

Rohag; I will look into it. I think it's more frustrating to me that this isn't the first time I've been wiped away by my "friends". No matter what, it's them before me, and I feel like I let that happen. When my brother died; I got maybe three texts. The only person who was there to pick me up and just sit with me while I sobbed was ONE person. And I will never complain about them because I almost feel like I don't deserve them. But this isn't anything new. I am constantly this outlet for people to use. And it's exhausting. I just want someone to give a damn but it seems like it's just beyond them. And I've given so much of myself to all of them. It's just. ugh.

Bharan; Thank you. Please don't be mad, it's alright. I just need to figure out my footing I guess and sort through my priorities and make sense of it all. I just feel used and ignored and hurt. I don't even care if they have nothing to say but even just a "I am so sorry you're sick. If there is anything you need, let me know" would be SO comforting. It would remind me I haven't wasted my energy on these people. I will try to be open here more, though.