Hi everyone,

I've lurked for a while but am popping up now to ask some advice.

Last week, my therapist said something that's been bothering me ever since. When I voiced a concern that I would get hit on or harassed in a particular situation, he said, "Well, part of that will have to do with how you present yourself."

To me, this flies in the face of what might be helpful to a woman who fears harassment and has been harassed in the past - while presenting myself in a variety of ways, I might add, none of which were "asking for it."

That is where I'm coming from. I'm planning to bring up the problem this coming week and ask him to explain in more depth what he means by what he said, and why he chose to say that instead of something else. I fear that he's going to respond in a way that indicates he really doesn't have a grasp on the realities of what the world is like for women. We have been working together for 4 months, and it's not the first time he's said something victim-blamey, but it's the first time it's been pretty unambiguous.

He's very helpful in a lot of ways, but I can no longer ignore this aspect of his view on the world. We haven't touched much on my past sexual harassment, gropings, etc. and I would not be comfortable going there at this point - which is not good.

If he is not able to explain himself adequately, I consider that I have three options. 1) Terminate, which was my instinctive response. 2) Try and work through it, even though I won't be able to trust him in this area. 3) Ask to change the type of therapy we're doing to short-term, CBT-type stuff geared toward my immediate isues, such as changing jobs.

Which option would you pick in this situation? I'm trying to find some clarity. Thank you!