The other part of this, I just don't feel cared for or even about from my sister. I want to talk to her, but she doesn't spend the time actually talking to me. It's all about her. When I was hospitalized before it was well, I don't have the time to visit you, I "care" only so much.

I can see that my T does care, but I just can't stand to be hospitalized again, knowing that I'd be an inconvenience to my sister.... It seems like it's all about her. I hate it... I can't and don't feel like I can share anything with her or with my parents. And then with that it leads to more sui and si thinking. And then the fake face comes on, just hoping that someone would care enough.