I came home today with my mom crying and telling me she knows what I've "been doing to myself". I was horrifically confused; not knowing at all what she could mean. She told me she knew about my cutting. Which, I had no idea how. If anything I didn't look apologetic. I just looked surprised and confused. I asked my mom to be honest and tell me who told her (only three, of my three friends, knew of this) and she said "I can't tell you. But they emailed me.".

I am SO ANGRY. I was seeing stars and just wanted to call each of them up and make one of them confess. I am so angry because I WAS GOING TO TELL HER. I had it planned it. I found a day we'd be alone. And I was going to explain the situation. But no, my friends, for the first time in my whole damn life, had to care and emailed my mother making this all seem that it was worse than it is. It has been two weeks since I've SI'd. That is why I wanted to tell her. I wanted to get to three weeks so she can see I'm trying.

I am turning 23 in two days. And I feel like a god damn teenager. She doesn't want me going any where alone. She doesn't want me being around people who are drinking at night. She wants me to get rid of what I've been using.

I want to find who told her and just scream and scream and scream at them.