I am really at my wits' end. I have no nerves left. This will be long, there's no other way around it...

I don't know even know who is crazy anymore - me or the people around me. Or both of us? Years ago when I saw a counselor, she told me that the problem was my parents. My most recent counselor (2011-2013) told me that me living at home is a "comfy trap" for me...that if I stay here, I will continue to be do/be whatever my parents want me to do/be. I know it's me, too.

I don't want to be this person anymore. I was diagnosed with anxiety back when I was 11, and I'm 23 now. I also have a tendency to be sensitive and timid. My mother is overbearing and we've never gotten along (at least not when I'm healthy and standing up for what I believe in, when I'm in a weak, anxious state, we're besties).

I've always felt like there was a much stronger person inside me. But I don't know if that's just my imagination. I finally got my license last month, but not 100% confident in my driving abilities, and every time I try to practice driving -- there's an excuse as to why I can't or my mother (who I usually drive with) acts like it's a huge inconvenience (sighs when I mention it) -- she's not positive at all about it, which doesn't help my confidence, obviously. (I can't depend on her for support, I guess.) Besides that, we're on totally different schedules and have vastly different, sometimes conflicting, interests and beliefs.

I traveled to visit family and just came back a week ago (just me and my dad) on the trip and I felt a lot stronger for the trip because I wasn't sure how I was gonna handle the anxiety. I was fine, of course, and came back with a renewed sense of self and new goals.

I'm a recent college grad who is not having a lot of luck finding a job. So there's that on top of everything else.

When I'm here at home I feel like I have no options. Luckily, my trip showed me I have plenty, which is why now that I'm back home, I'm even more annoyed. This whole summer, being around my mom and doing things that I don't feel like doing (cleaning up after the whole household)--I'm just at the end of my rope.

Other problems: I have no friends physically in my area to talk to (acquaintances but no friends--I never put myself out there when I transferred back home); I don't know why I sometimes miss someone I messed up with when I was 18 -- even though we don't talk at all; had a terrible high school experience (you guessed it -- "anxiety"); feel like a failure if I mess up at something new (at least today I did, and it wasn't a big deal and I knew that).

So...I'm in a complete mess, I hate feeling so sensitive (but I honestly think my nerves are just so shot right now that the little things get to me).

The almost worst part? Tomorrow I'll be fine. I'll find some reason to be fine until the next time I blow up again because the situation I'm in is not a good one and I need to get out and I'm trying but there's so many roadblocks and patience needed and I don't know how to get through them. And on top of that, I'm around this person who has no respect for ANYONE'S individuality and I just...ugh...I don't know how to get through this.

I just feel like a weak little lonely girl in an impossible situation I just...don't know how to get through this alone