My son had a bad episode back in January that ended up with him having a seizure and being hospitalized because he was self-medicating. We knew he was having problems, but until that incident, we didn't really know what was going on with him because he really wasn't communicating to us what was going on.

In the oddest way, that horrific episode was a positive event in our lives. It forced ALL of us to really open up to each other and get completely honest and real about what was going on. Things have much improved for all of us since then. Not perfect, but much improved.

Perhaps this is your "incident" that can start those important conversations. They'll be difficult and sometimes painful, but perhaps ultimately there might be some real healing too.