I am a disabled mom, and I know it is hard for your mom to do things, but neither you, nor my son, are responsible for taking care of these things. If you do it, it is a nice and good thing to do at times, if there is an end date for it or some kind of suitable arrangement such as pay or whatever is appropriate.

What you might try doing for a start is deciding on a schedule, maybe you are going to be gone Saturday evening and Sunday daytime for example. And maybe some alone time on a Wednesday night for a few hours, she can maybe watch tv in her room, which is what I do, or use my computer. I try to give major privacy, the house is yours. You have to be good on your end and actually go somewhere or do something, or she has to.

This will give you both something new to talk about. Even just going to the library or for a walk can help alot. You can join a group maybe, pick up a hobby, something to meet people and get together over besides the usual bad things.

There are alarms like first alert I think you can get that your mom can push if she falls or anything else happens, she can fall even if you are there. You cannot be expected to be there to catch any possible fall. As for body smells, I would tell her. She can do some things to help that.

Its very easy to get lazy when you are disabled and let yourself go. This only makes you sicker and it burns out all the people who are good enough to help you. If you don't work, I would definitely try to get a job, where you can take more control of your life and have some money and possible career direction, or go to school. If worse comes to worse, find a place to be your chill out place away from home, like a diner, macdonalds or a friends house. A wireless place is good if you have a phone, laptop or tablet.

Creating your own apartment within the house, say if you can put a door to block off a hallway, so you have your own little living room and bedroom and can shut the door, this can help. You are still close by, but you don't have to be "right there" all the time, and you can have a place to bring a friend or decorate as you wish.

Your mom should look into one of those alarms like life alert, I think medicare would even pay for it. My mom is a type one diabetic who had a stroke and she is living alone with one of those alarms and she is doing well. She is the happiest I've heard her, a little bored sometimes, but more alert and happy overall.

Oh, and if you have a friend in the neighborhood you could room with maybe, you could visit mom daily.

Your life is there waiting for you full of great things, you might not see it right now. You have a journey to take through life and it doesn't mean you don't stop off at mom's frequently and call alot, but you have to take that journey yourself. And I don't think your mom in her heart would want you not to reach your potential and be the cause of your problems and ruined life. That's alot to put on her. You can only change what you take responsibility for. You can only be responsible for you and making your wishes known.

Please don't hurt yourself! Your mom doesn't deserve that. She may be leaning on you now and kind of being a little self-involved due to illness, but she doesn't deserve that, even if right now it seems she can't bear to be apart from you and fatigued, I have liver disease and the fatigue is horrible. She is probably scared, as we all are, of being so sick and losing any time with you, but you aren't you if you are doing such bad things, and she will get better with some time alone, seeing she can do some things and seeing you get better, that's the best gift and medicine. I have dogs, they make me get up and let them out. It makes me move and care for something else besides dwelling on myself and helps me to let go of my older sons, who need to be on their own now.

Mom's want to see their kids doing well, able to take care of themselves and sober and as healthy as can be, then they can stop worrying and try to get themselves well. Its hard for us to stop, it is such a strong instinctive role. My dogs really help. New kids. My sister has a granddaughter and that helps her to let go of her adult kids.