I'm awake and listening because you do matter. I think that a lot of people here can relate either currently or in their own pasts or both. You don't sound like a mess externally--you sound pretty accomplished and you have achieved so much even if you don't factor in the hell you grew up in. The internal stuff can be fixed, just get through these next 2 weeks.

One binge is a temporary setback. Just do what you can to get through.

I'm sorry if I'm making it sound easy--I know it isn't. Even though my life has improved vastly, i'm still working on getting that inner critic to shut up (really just my parents' attitudes internalized)

With a bit of therapeutic work, more encouraging and loving thoughts will replace the inner critic who puts you down. Anything you can do to "fight back" against those automatic thoughts can help. Like telling the critic that it is one binge and it won't ruin your weight for life so go stuff it.

Feel free to post. I don't know if this is helpful to you but I'm happy to try.