Welcome Exmoi to PC. I'm so sorry you are suffering so much. It sounds to me that you need professional help. A school counselor may be able to give you some training as to how to deal with bullying. That is a terrible, terrible thing. There may be some forums on this site that can give you advice for that.
Most important is to hold tight to your dream. With your Mom in Germany she may be able to talk to someone who can guide you. Is it possible for you to work a little and earn some money for yourself?
I really feel for you. I so hope that you get the help you need. Post here and vent all you need to.We'll be interested in what happens for you.