Mega-hugs to you!

It seems that your mom is doing everything she can to keep you dependent on her. The more you assert yourself, the more she tries to knock you back down into anxiety so that you remain dependent on her. Some parents have an exceptionally hard time letting their kids grow up and may act in ways to keep that from happening. Maybe they're afraid of being alone. Maybe they need to dominate someone in order to make themselves feel good. Maybe they feel out of on control of their life and try to control their adult children in order to compensate. Your mother is one of them. As others have mentioned, your best option is to move out. I know that takes money and you need to get a job first. Perhaps your dad can help you with the deposit so that you can move out faster. Until then, find reasons to get out of the house, even if it's just going to the library to read a book or go window-shopping. Based on what you said, I agree with your counselor that your problem is your mother.

Good luck!