Also, can you masturbating to more uplifting fantasies? Maybe what grosses you out is the content of humiliating fantasies. Maybe this part can be helped. Can you masturbate mechanically (without accompanying fantasies)? There is a lot going on - humiliation / being degraded, religious reasons, personal reasons, possible abuse, the frequency that may interfere with the day-by-day life, the lack of confidence in speaking up in therapy sessions, etc. - a whole host of issues. So I am wondering if taking small steps - say, reducing the frequency and changing the fantasy content - rather than completely shutting it down - would help you.