And I can't wake up.

This is rant/vent
I'm really struggling with voices. I can't tell which are real and which are not. I could swear everything I am hearing is real... It used to sound like a crowded restaurant all the time where I'd be hearing bits and pieces of others' conversations, even if I was the only one in the room, and now it's starting to sound more like someone left the TV on. But I know that is illogical because we do not have TV like that... Our TVs can only play DVDs/Blu-rays, we do not have cable or regular TV at all.

Ugh. And all the things they say, I don't know who to believe. The voices have to be real if they know so much about me. I don't know, I know that we do not have regular TV, so no one could have left the TV on and the voices should not to talking to me through the TV because... hell, we don't have TV!!!

And apparently, everything that I think is a delusion. I have told my T about something that's giving me so much fear and anxiety right now and she believes it is like other thoughts I have had in the past that were not very rational, and I understand that my thoughts before were not exactly your average thoughts, yes. But they were very VERY rational! And my thoughts now are RATIONAL!! UGH. What the hell is rational? My thoughts are based on fact, hard facts that people just don't understand because they think these sort of things do not happen very often, but they do and people just turn a blind eye to it.

I just want the voices to go away, if they can. They're really beginning to upset me again and I don't know how long I can last hearing them say these things to me again and again. It's making me feel sick to my stomach almost constantly and I just want it to stop. all of it.