On Friday I texted my ex wife asking her if I could get my son next weekend instead of this last weekend since I'm off. She has been giving him to be on the weekends that I work and I dont get to spent much time with him b/c I have to go to bed early and get up early (I work 4a-4p). A few hours later she responded back no a judge granted her sole custody of our son and me supervised visitation. She hasn't agreed on anyone to supervise me so I don't get to see him til she does. Unfortunatly I was at work when all this took place. I came unglued. I was an emotional wreck. I was mad, pissed off, terrified, scared, angry, confused, overwhelmed. I started hearing voices moments after I read the text messages. They were yelling and cussing at me, her, her dad, screaming and cussing in general. Some I couldnt understand, but most I could. Some were calm and very scary about what they were telling me to do.
Now my ex doesn't know I am currently having problems with my Schizoaffective disorder. She knows I have a past history with it, but not that I am having a problem with it now. As far as she is concerned, I haven't had problems with it in years. My son is only 7, so even if I had told him which I didnt he wouldn't even understand what it is. So I know for a fact none of this custody battle has to do with my Schizoaffective disorder.
Yesterday I was supposed to have an appt with my T doc at the VA. I get there and she had called in. Since I had driven so far to make my appt they got some other T doc to agree to see me. She was very nice through out our session. I told her about my ex and what she had pulled. I told her about the voices, how they were screaming and yelling and telling me to do bad things, and everything else. My original T doc had taken me off my anti psycotic, which wasnt helping me anyways, so I've been battling voices off and on for about 2 months now which sucks big time. With everything going on this new T doc was worried about me to the point she wanted to admit me yesterday to get me stabilized on an anti psychotic. I seem to have a history of being on meds that dont work. I think she called it being med resistant?? And if it ain't that I'm allergic to it. Lucky me the VA had a ward on one of the upper levels of the hospital. I told her with my work schedule there would be no way I could, plus I had my dad with me which legally he can't drive due to having seizures and we had no one to come pick him up.

I'm sorry I took so long to say everything ya'll. I feel so lost and don't know what to do.