Thanks for the responses.

No one was ever tight w/$$ when I was a chld or ever...except my last BF, but he does not count...I have been doing this for over 15 years. I probably $$ from my Birthdays & Christmas, still in the cards from 10 yrs ago.

If a casual friend wanted and ice cream or latte, I would buy it for them.

The why? I guess I feel I do not deserve anything.

I certainly am entitled to a laptop and hig speed internet..I do not know anyone whom has dial up...unless they reside where there is no cable or dsl available. Just typing that increased my anxiety.