I think that you need to spend some time tracing what led you to this place where you're uncomfortable spending money on yourself. What messages about spending on one's self have you heard. Did some tell you it's better to give than receive? Or, perhaps, I'd love to have a new dress, and I need one too. But...nnoooooo...I can't buy myself anything, I have to get you new school clothes ( or a birthday present, or a Christmas present). As children what we hear is sometimes distorted and simply too adult for us to comprehend. Children are literal......the guilt trip is lost on them, they hear the words and to them that's exactly what your mother (father, grandma,etc) meant. Best of luck on your trip inside your own history and mind to get at the root of this. Be well, and be good to yourself.