I can certainly appreciate the resentment you are expressing! Once, addressed, in couples therapy, will timelines be established.

One of the things, now that you are processing your own emotions, more effectively, is to sit down with the needs based check-list, as your couples counselor, may be able to provide, and start long-term planning.

Now, that she has this pile of cash, doesn't sound like she's being financially responsible. Granted, the loss of a parent, presents difficult times, yet, there comes a point, where responsibility supersedes fiscal irresponsibility.

It may be, inheritance, passed down, from her side of the table, yet, setting a budget, is something to consider. Most court systems, may view this as a marital asset, not an individual asset. Not sure, just know that in my own divorce contract, it states, that inheritance, received post-divorce is individual, I presume, it's an implied marital asset, whilst married.

New car, no job, sounds fiscally irresponsible. And though she wants to move out, to your own separate place, if it wasn't part of the marital planning, fiscally speaking, without inheritance, why would it be now? Those sums, don't last forever, usually!

Are you, addressing some of these resentments in individual therapy, to better articulate in joint therapy? And is she also, in individual counseling?