Patty,
I think you were affected by something before '68. I know I was a mess mentally when I started college in '69 because of my early childhood, and didn't get help for it until after I had graduated in '73. Fortunately I was in therapy when the suicidal thoughts came or I might not be here today.
I married the wrong man too, it seems now. Or maybe I just outgrew him as I have been on a self improvement path for about 13 years. I have been surprised where I can find help with my mindset. I even found an internet marketing company that offers Personal Development help because they know how important this is to success and happiness. (Won't post name here-against the rules) You can absolutely make improvements in yourself if you want to. And I for one am happier since I started this path.
Mary