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Aug 20, 2013, 07:20 PM
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Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Mid World
Posts: 18,129
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I had kind of an aha moment today.
I come from an abusive background. Father was abusive. Husband was abusive. As a result I have a ton of issues related to power and control. Fairly typical for someone with that kind of background. I realized today that a lot of my recent anger is power and control related. All kinds of changes at work that I have no control over - no power, no control. Co-workers are acting like little junior high school princesses. Once upon a time I was the "go to" person in the office who everyone looked to for direction. Now they don't, translates to loss of power and control.
This morning I asked myself why I was letting the opinion of other people affect me so. I'm a cool person to know. I have a lot of positive qualities (I havbe my flaws too!). I'm the kind of person I would like to have as a friend. It was like a switch was thrown in my head. When the princesses staqrted their nonsense today I thought "You people don't know what a great person I am. I have a lot of knowledge I would be glad to share with you." The change in my perspective drained away a whole lot of the stress. Callie is still sick. Al is still getting old and infirm. My body is still a wreck. But I feel better able to deal with it.
Just to prove I'm not perfect... at one point during the day while I was thinking they didn't know what they were missing by locking me out, I did think "You know what, if you don't want to get to know me F you." 
I'm not fooling myself into thinking that the stress and anger have vanished. I just feel more prepared to deal with them.
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