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Originally Posted by growlycat
The things your mom said--so awful. Has she ever been diagnosed with mental health issues? Or is she an addict? Don't get me wrong, I only care to read that you are ok, I have no empathy for parents who are horrible to their kids.
It just sounds like something is wrong with her--ever consider that you are the "healthy" one? That's not to say you don't need care, but she sounds disturbed. Your reactions seem like someone just trying to cope.
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No. She actually doesn't drink or do any drugs at all. I don't believe she has ever seen a psychiatrist. However, I don't need any official diagnosis to know that she has mental health problems. I'm a musician, not a psychiatrist so I obviously don't have the ability to actually diagnose her, but I really suspect that she has a few things. First off, she has anxiety problems. She needs to control every aspect of her life and everyone else around her or she begins to completely panic. Second, I also highly HIGHLY suspect her to have NPD as in I'm about 99% confident in that. She is very charming to people when they first meet but behind closed doors has no true ability to empathize with anyone with this enormous god complex. I also sometimes wonder if she is an actual sociopath because if you read up on it, she has a lot of the traits. She used to tell me that I'm so fat that people laugh at me when I walk down the halls behind my back even if I can't hear them and whenever I play my music, all anyone can remember when I finish is that I look like a fat clown. She would make me take off my pants and stand on a scale in front of her every week and if I didn't lose weight, she would punish me and scream at me.
The best part about this is that she is a damn doctor who went to Harvard Med School. Trust me, she won't let anyone forget that. I probably hear about that every day and it only gets more and more shocking the more I think about it. How does she not know anything about psych stuff? She mocks her depressed, suicidal, and schizophrenic patients to me all the time and thinks it is okay because she doesn't use their names. She believes that depression is a choice and that people who want to kill themselves are just completely crazy. She refused to treat me for my ADHD and said that I was just lazy and undisciplined. She took me from psychiatrist to psychiatrist as a kid and got me tested over and over again, trying to find someone who would declare me "normal". She never could and she just attempted to treat me on her own by literally beating me into submission. She made me feel so ashamed for having this condition, it's surprising to me that I allowed myself to get treatment when I was 18. But she's all in favor of me being on adderall now because one of the side affects is appetite suppression.
I guess I am anonymous online so I can say this. She also used to write me prescriptions for different weight loss drugs. She wouldn't write for any controlled substances or psych drugs because she didn't want to risk getting caught, so she would just find people that would. She had these people put me on on this list of extremely serious weight loss drugs without even writing me a script for ursodial (which is a drug that prevents gallstones which is a serious risk when you a large amount of weight really fast). She completely jeopardized my health because she didn't want to be embarrassed when she took me in to see her friends. I was so overweight that I stopped having my period for two whole years when I was 15 and she had me lie to my doctors because she didn't want them putting me on birth control and gaining weight.
I don't know why I'm talking about this so much. Maybe the drugs loosened me up and this topic makes me go off on its own.
Quote:
Originally Posted by growlycat
ps if you are going to your regular doctor, can you tell them about your difficulties? As long as you are not in danger, they won't commit you. But this is the opportunity to ask for short term help.
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No. She follows me into my doctors appointments. She still does and I can't get rid of her or she'll threaten me. These are also my bariatric doctors. You see, even though she pressured me to lose weight, I also wanted to do it on my own for my overall health. I knew I'd have to do this surgery someday, so why would I do it in 5 years when I could just do it on her insurance and make her pay the $2000 copay? I learned how to take advantage of people from the absolute best.
I probably should have reported her for what she was doing with writing me prescriptions and completely manipulating people in order to get the prescriptions she wanted me to be on, but why would I do that when the only person she does that to is me and I don't want her to lose her job. I want that money. If she does that to my siblings though (which I don't think will happen) I do understand that I have to be responsible and turn her in. Before I go back to school however, I will be sure to dispose of all the adderall I have upstairs because she is not above giving it to my sister to help her cheat on the ACT. If anyone knows how I should properly get rid of that stuff, please tell me because I don't want to just have this massive amount of adderall of different, weaker strengths stockpiled up in my drawers and I also don't want it to wind up on the streets and help contribute to ruin someone's life.