I'm sitting here on my bed and I'm completely dead inside.... I can't even write what I feel anymore. I had a flashback earlier, which is why I'm up in the middle of the night (CAT) and I can't even really post about it. I'm just do confused... I feel nothing, the fear is gone, I'm just numb. What's happening to me??? I don't even care if the world ends...

I'm looking at my hands while they type and I'm disgusted by the strange shapes they form to get to all the keys... It feels like I'm not me, like I'm standing beside myself, watching myself...

I don't really like myself, I'm oddly shaped, almost deformed... weird bumps and things, it's not smooth like a lake should be...