For nearly 15 years I've been treated (on and off, mostly on) for depression and anxiety. I get better, stay OK for a while, then -- inevitably -- fall down again. I've had great therapists and good p-docs, tried every medication known to man and babbled for what seems like thousands of hours.

I'm just not fixable, and I'm wasting everyone's time and money. That's the way I feel. I want to throw away all the meds and say goodbye to my T (thanks for trying) and let nature take its course ... I will be what I obviously was meant to be.

I am just so tired.

I joke with my T about living in a cardboard box under a bridge but I really feel like that's not a joke.

My life has been a waste. I've put my wife through hell and it just doesn't stop.

Sorry for the incoherent rant. What a mess for my first post.