Quote:
Originally Posted by growlycat
Thanks for this. I would hate for anyone to go through this. I don't expect to change your mind, maybe just plant the seed for better things?
No, not a brick wall but it does feel like talking to my younger self in some ways. I don't think I'd convince her either!
But you are doing well considering the craziness that you deal with. Good luck at the dr's.
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I'm honestly not open to changing my mind until I'm back with my T, safe at school. If planning to commit suicide in five years is helping me feel at peace and less at risk of doing it right now and I'm going to talk with a professional about it, then I really don't see the harm in it or the harm in looking forward to it or even the harm in planning it out in my journal.
We are also talking about something so far off it doesn't really too much weight behind it no matter how strong my current intentions are. If I were saying I was going to do this in a month and I felt this happy and content with that, then it would be a little bit of a different story. My life has gotten so much easier and so much better since I made this decision.
However, once I am safe and not in this hell hole, I will entertain other ideas for sure.