I've definitely got the public me and the private me. Sometimes they're the same person. But not very often!

I'm also very highly functional - no one would know that I had bipolar 2 unless I choose to tell them. I've got really good self-management skills, because like you, my family was pretty much ran like a business - perfect appearance but was a wreck in private!

I'm a pro at hiding my realllly low self-esteem. And I don't express it when I'm upset with someone... I just keep it inside.

Is any of that healthy? Most of it no. But the bipolar management is a good one and I probably only learned how to manage it through my effed up family life where I did NOT want to stand out at all.

You're definitely not alone