I can understand the fear of emotionally exhausting people. I've had this fear for a long time and am just now getting over it. I find that you will push people away sometimes, but more will stick around. Sound things by yourself can be hard, but it is important to do it to avoid isolating yourself. Maybe start by going to Ihop in the middle of the night. Often, the waiters are bored and chatty and you can practice your social skills. I understand the harshness of being alone, but it is good for your health to own it until you can change it.