One thing that I memorize is that "Every soul that lives has hope." Every time something really great happens, you didn't know it was coming weeks before. I just wanted to encourage you that you are not a failure. Its not the end. You have so many days ahead of you for things to turn around. Pain is temporary and your spirit is resilient. It must be. Look at all you have dealt with. I'm rooting for ya! Hugsssss