TB I obviously don't know what you did or why you did it but I doubt that the personality inventory test will shed all kinds of light on the issue. You know why you did it and I bet there are some good explanations for whatever happened. And I bet if you keep rereading and editing your letter, adding more information as you remember it, describing the context of the events as best you can (your mental state at the time plus the events and circumstances surrounding it), and the resources available to you at the time you will start to understand why you didn't make the choices you now wish you had. What if I or your close friend or sibling described a similar set of events? Would you judge as harshly as you're judging yourself? I bet your therapist won't either.