I actually love the childcare job, it is far far less stressful than the dream job. Its probably the easiest job I have ever had, so I dont know what the issue is with me not wanting to go back yet. I find that on the days I work at childcare I am not able to do much else, it takes all of my physical and emotional energy and I think that is why I find it draining.

Both jobs know about each other and work around each other, the dream job hours are only up at the moment as someone is away but they will drop to nothing over the summer, where as the childcare job ramps up over summer. My boss knows that the majority of my dream job hours are volunteer, so she sees this as time I should be using for paid work. I have told them from the get go that the dream job takes priority but I can never ever say no to my boss when she asks me to work just that little bit more.

It was only 7 weeks ago I had a major crash from being coerced into working 50 hours in a week. I suspected I was mildly hypo at the time but once that week was over I well and truly crashed. I feel like I havent recovered cos since then I no longer enjoy my hobbies and distraction activities.

I will definitely try and tell her I only want to work limited hours but I just dont really see how I am going to do that. I know myself and I know I wont be picking up the phone without being in tears, and I might be catastophizing here but I see that leading to her asking whats wrong and me going on a rant... A friend suggested emailing her but I dont have her email address.