I went through about 35 years of what you are describing (since I was 15). I finally got a correct diagnosis of bipolar & the medications for that were amazing. I've never felt like that in my life & I'd been on basically all the AD's & anti-anxiety drugs. They'd work for awhile then I would slip back into a depression. Maybe you don't have the right diagnosis. Keep searching. There is hope. If I found relief after 35 years, I bet you can, too. Take care.--Suzy