I suppose I'm coming back to this to try to find out what it is about how I feel that I can't seem to figure out. It's been two months now since the day we broke up and I found myself almost crying. I caught myself because I swore to myself I wouldn't cry about it anymore.

I think about her constantly though no matter what I do...I just suddenly came down with mono four days ago and was hallucinating from fever thinking she was there and have had dreams with her there. We're not even in the same country anymore and she hasn't said a word to me but I feel as if I've lost a part of what I used to be. Life is suddenly so expensive and my computer broke, I have to pay for medicine, tuition, books, even a new car.

My life has been rough before, but I'm hitting a new threshold of mental stress and it's really hard.