((((Fuzzybear)))))

I have experienced those kind of days too Fuzzy and so I know it can be hard. It is very important that when you are feeling low like this to make sure you don't fall into "talking yourself down".

The most important person that needs to care about you is "you" Fuzzy. And it isn't about being selfish, or greedy, or even hard on others, all it means is that the one person you show the most "care for" is always yourself. A lot of people have a really hard time with "self caring", there are endless examples everywhere in PC if you pay attention enough.

Often when we are growing up our parents can teach us to "mind others and obey and be good" and that will "please "them". If children grow up in a dysfunctional home, they begin to only see how their parents are "self absorbed" and moody or even angry because they are not happy somehow. Children are often not even remotely taught how to "self love and self care".

I know my parents and their parents were brought up with "Children are to be seen and not heard". Children with learning disabilities were just considered "dumb" or "lazy" or if they struggled to "sit still" they were thought to need strict discipline.

"Self Love" is not about how well we "please others" or "do better than others". And you know what?, That is something that many children are not taught or shown how to do by their parents.

"Deserving" is also something that many parents do not know how to teach either. Most people spend a lot of their adulthood "questioning" what "they deserve".

It is no wonder that people in general have a difficult time, trusting others and even feeling or being "appreciated". It is no wonder that deep in the mind is this ongoing sense that "sooner or later someone else will hurt of disappoint me". And then what happens is "fear of abandonment".

When that happens? Often the response is "blaming of self" and "questioning self worth".

The only way to finally "heal" from the way we lack in our "self care" is to develop a "wise mind" in ourselves and decide to "learn" about whatever it was we didn't get that "is not our fault" and commit to slowly "learning" and "growing" and practicing self care the right way.

To also "learn" what areas in "self" had needs that were not met and tend to get angry and even "lay in wait" expecting to be "disappointed and hurt" whenever making an effort to "interact and partner with others" whether it be in a friendship or relationship.

It is also important to "learn and understand" that no matter who we interact with, there will come a point where the other person will not "understand or may disagree" with or simply may fail to see the "significance of what something means to us or even a deep need that we have". When that happens, it doesn't mean "unworthiness" or "failure on the part of the other person or ourselves". All it means is the other person is "unaware" and may just not "understand or see us as we wish".

OE