I have a huge problem, one that has haunted me since I was very young. It seems separate from my diagnosed Anxiety and Bipolar problems and is apparent in my Father and Grandfather. I feel like the most negative person on the planet. Scowling negative over every aspect of life. Jokingly negative even when I’m not really complaining or being negative. I can’t go one hour without saying something negative. This problem is obviously is effecting my marriage and my children. It also affects everyone around me including co-workers, friends and other family. Is there anyone else on this board that is just completely negative? I cant classify this being depression, it doesn’t “feel” like depression. And in times of not really being down I will still continue the negativity. It feels like a bad habit, so hard to break and deal with its eating me alive. The only salvation I have at the moment is I know about it and see what it’s doing to my loved ones. So everyday I now talk myself out of being negative and try to turn everything around. I think trying to help others feel better on these boards has helped some. And seeing how much it’s hurting my family has been a huge wake up call. Sorry if this is more of a ramble post, I guess I’m just throwing it out there to see if others are dealing with the same issue and how the get through the day without being a dark cloud.

And I am going to start seeing a Psychologist on this very topic alone, to maybe get some insight on how to control and change it. Like I said I don’t think its directly related to my disorders, it just feels different. And I see my Dad and Grandfather (who I both work with on a daily basis in our family company) being the exact same way. I would say its biological but I’m adopted so it has to be a learned behavior.

Anyways theirs my ramble of the day, if anyone wants to throw out some input it would be appreciate. Otherwise have a good Thursday!