My alcoholic boyfriend likes to give lectures after he drinks. He doesnt let me speak and if I do, I have to apologize and tell him I understand or else he will flip out and start yelling and possibly get physically violent. Today I texted him that I wouldnt be hungry for dinner because my niece brought me a slice of pizza around 3pm, I thought we could figure out his dinner and wanted to let him know. He took it as me not thinking of him because there wasnt a whole lot of choices in the house and I hadnt been shopping yet. I have a syndrome that causes fatigue and syncope so a set schedule is out of the question. I dont work right now and wont be for a few months. He lectured me for about 30 minutes and it was the first time I agreed and complied out of fear of his anger. This made me realize I need to get out asap. I bring up job options and every single one, he doesnt like because there are men working where I would want to apply. I dont have any friends because Im not allowed them. He has erupted in front of my family so they barely talk to me because I stay with him. I get help from social services and have no where to go. My car is about to break down, on top of my medical and mental problems, I am at rock bottom. But I know I need to get out. Ive left numerous times, he promises to change though I know now that he never will. Any advice? I may have posted in this forum with similar problems but I just have no one to talk to. I feel like Ive worn out my welcome with everyone. I dont want to ever go back to him but I dont know where to start to get on my feet. Im scared and lonely and tired of walking on eggshells.