I would keep writing and rewriting the five pages until I was comfortable with my own material. Then I would continue writing and rewriting until I had it condensed into four or five paragraphs of material I was comfortable with. Then I would start with paragraph 1 and share/talk about a paragraph a week and on week 5/6 I'd present and review the whole thing and talk about it until T and I were satisfied we were finished with the material.

Alleged crimes committed in the past are done; cannot be undone. I abused my first cat. That cat lived to be 17 or so and died a natural death, I think he and I had a wonderful relationship in the end. My stepmother abused me; I'm going to be 63 in October. She has been dead 12+ years and much was "fixed" in me and our relationship through therapy and our ongoing relationship over 45 years. The past is what our life is made up of but is only actionable in the present with our talking about it, discussing it with those who care for/about us, etc. No one action, one event is all of our life or all of a relationship with another.

My stepmother and I are not "just" abusers, not just parent/child, pet owners, 5 years old or 62 years old. Our relationship is not the only relationship either of us had over the years. I still remember the shock of visiting my mother's grave (she died when I was 3) and her headstone was in her maiden name and it became clear to me she was not just my mother, she had had a rich 40 years of life without me before I was born. I was only the center of my mother's universe when she and I were relating to one another, not before, after, or when she was relating to my father or brothers, her mother, brother, sister-in-law, etc.

I try not to take any one moment too seriously. It is my life so I am going to see things as larger in my rear view mirror than they actually are?

But it was long ago and it was far away,
Oh God it seems so very far
And if life is just a highway,
Then the soul is just a car
And objects in the rear view mirror
May appear closer than they are

~Meat Loaf