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That sounds very painful. I can see me responding similarly. It seems like it is a mixed message -] send me your writings, but I won't read them. I can't imagine even a very bad therapist (and I've had a bad therapist) would intentionally set something like that up, and you don't sound like you think she's a bad therapist. There's a part of you that wants to go back. But a part of you that is feeling very vulnerable and risked a great deal to work with her and you want some response to your risk and vulnerability. You sound like you are confused about what happened. Is that it?
Looking into the future, what do you see happening if you cancel? if you don't cancel?
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