This makes sense to me, neutrino. (And I don't think there's any limit to the number of threads that are appropriate to start. Sometimes we're just in a place where we start a lot of threads, sometimes we aren't. If a third of the front page was only threads started by one person maybe it would be a little excessive, for a few hours before other threads made it up there, but you're not even close
)
Anyway. I have a close friend who does CBT - he is the only person I know in RL I talk about therapy with, so that's why I use him as an example - who definitely gets to talk to his T about background stuff, even childhood issues. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect that from a CBT T.
Not wanting to change, even though it might lead to a "better" life, is something I recognise very much. I talk to my T about it, and he has told me that it is neither unusual nor weird to feel like that. Change happens slowly, though, and I have had time to adjust to the changes that have happened to me. And nobody can impose change on us from outside, so it's not really something to fear.
Quote:
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What if I lie about my mental illness? What if I exaggerate things? What if I imagine things? What if I'm actually healthy but I've managed to lie to myself and the professionals so now we all think I'm mentally ill?
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Are you sure you're not me?? I could have written this. I don't know if it helps at all to know that you are not alone in this, but I completely understand.
I'm sorry you are feeling so low right now. Could you print out the post you made and show it to your T? It's coherent (trust me, I teach academic writing, I can spot incoherence from quite far away) and might lead to your T understanding more fully what you need from him.
Feel free to PM me if you like.
