Thank you. I know i should tell my T about this but when i go there, i just shut down. I literally don't say anything other than yes and no :/ i even wrote everything down to give it to her but the anxiety was so bad that i just couldn't. But honestly, i'm scared because i know the overdoses can leave me with some kind of damage but at the same time, thinking about when i can overdose calms me down and at those times, i only think about how i can do it ( the reason i haven't told my parents is that i don't want to go back to hospital.the only time thy found out i had overdosed, they (and my p-doc) forced me to stay at the hospital for a month. And after that, they were so controlling - checking if i had taken my meds, checking if there are any meds i can overdose on, etc. i'm seeing my p-doc in about 2 weeks and i will really try telling her about the suicidal thoughts and the overdoses. But i don't even know if she can do anything to help me. I feel like i'm beyond help at this point (