I don't think you are whiney at all. This might be a really good opportunity though to try to get out from behind that mask you mentioned and advocate for yourself directly by discussing this with your T. I suggested bringing one piece of writing in as a sort of jump off point to narrow down where to start with your writings. I've found over the years that the hardest part is taking that first step forward. After that, momentum slowly starts to take hold and each step after that becomes progressively, although sometimes very minutely, easier.