I don't know if I'm actually medically depressed right now or if I'm just feeling completely defeated by my current situation. I have no intrinsic desire to continue living anymore. No matter what happens in my life, I always end up alone in this room again. It's just something I can't escape and a big part of me wants to give up trying. But I won't because I know things will change when I'm out of here and I will be out of here in 10 days. I need to hold on for now.