I haven't been around really as much as I used to be, I apologize for that. I've been feeling really on the outs lately. My seasonal depression is kicking in, my sleep pattern is messed, so is my eating habits, not eating as much as I should (full meal wise).

I should be setting up my lightbox, and haven't been... that would help with my sleep patterns.

I recently purchased a self-esteem workbook to help with my confidence and esteem issues, I think the book will be a great help, but i'm already lacking on doing the exercises, and i'm not even on chapter 3 yet...

This part that i'm stuck on is a 14 day assesment type deal. I have to keep a routine of meals, sleep putting in the hours I sleep, what time I get up and go to bed, how many hours am I sleeping. Plus for food, I have to keep a log for snacks, breakfast, dinner, supper, etc. As well as keeping a work out routine even if it's just cardio either doing a 15-30 min bike work out a few times a week, to a 10 min walk here and there to just get out and get my mood up.

This is supposed to be a 14 day thing daily that I got to do for the workbook, and I haven't started it yet. :sad: I find this so hard to do, I almost just want to throw in the towel, but it's my health and mood here that's on the line, and I know if I can do this I have no doubt at all that i'll be feeling so much better. This book is supposed to be over 100 days to complete... and i'm already slacking.

Oi.. it's going to be hard, and considering that this is likely my last pdoc appt i'll be having with her after 10+ yrs of appts, it's going to be rough.

I have been reading alot, Butterbean (my female syrian hamster that I rescused) has helped my mood alot- animals are really great therapy. I'm dreading this last appt with my pdoc though, i've been seeing her since 1996, that's a long time.. my last appt is on the 22, after that I doubt that I will be seeing her again, i'll likely have to go through my GP for meds and possibly to see another T if I need to. Mind you my pdoc said that I ever needed an emergency session with her that I could still phone her up and schedule me in somehow.

Change for me sucks, I rarely have good change.... My happiness seems to be going down the tubes.