I'm not ok. I feel worse than I have in a long time. I feel exhausted everyday. between work and school and fighting with my fiancee and not sleeping much I have been feeling drained and depressed and like im gonna snap at any moment. ssmokingthe only way I can keep from hurting myself. I just need a break. I need to have for just one day some normalness. a day where I don't feel like crying my eyes out and ending everything I've worked for. one day that I can feel loved and for once feel like I matter to someone. but that will never happen though, so I dont know why I even try. I guess what I'm trying to say is, there is nothing stopping me from cutting or hurting myself in other ways. I just know that not doing that is the one thread hanging on from me not snapping and spiraling out of control with it. I just don't know how much longer I can keep doing this.