I'm an INFJ too! I feel your pain. And I like you

How can you love yourself when no-one else does? I struggle with that one too. Sometimes, it helps me to pretend that I'm just a friend of mine- for example, I hate myself for being dermatillomanic (? if that's the right word). But if a friend of mine told me he/she suffered from that disorder, I wouldn't love them less- I'd want to help and support them as best I could. So I try to treat myself like I would treat a close friend (the operative word in that sentence being "try").

What if a friend told you he/she was having trouble forming relationships and felt inadequate? Would you condemn them for it, or would you encourage them to try and feel better about themselves? Even if you don't like yourself, can you pretend to be your own friend long enough to help yourself?

Personally, I'm not in a relationship right now because I'm not okay. I'm struggling to deal with my self-esteem and a (expletive)-load of other things. I don't love myself as much as I should, but I respect myself enough to say that I need time to heal and find myself before I get back on the horse. And that I'm going to hold back on judging myself until I'm stable again.

Bottom line: You can still be a good person even if you aren't in a relationship and don't have masses of friends. The first order of business is to take care of yourself and establish a sense of self-worth independent of relationships. If things don't start working out after that, you can always ask your tp for advice.

Side note: If you're afraid you'll chase your friends away, that implies that you currently have some. Congrats!