Sonnen, I like you too. I think we have a lot in common. I have actually been employing the strategy of not judging myself for things I wouldn't judge others for. I actually do have a nice assortment of friends. I'm just scared they will go away, even though they say they won't. I just get frustrated because though I love them, not everyone understands me at the level I seek to be understood. Fortunately, as a local performance poet, I think I get granted some grace for my hefty emotionality.

I wasn't trying to trivialize others' romances. I'm just saying that the pool for me is so small. I'm attracted to almost no one here. I've seriously weeded through all of the ones I've had any interest in. Most men aren't attractive, smart, engaging, and respectful enough to interest me. The fact that they were cruel to me makes it all seem so hopeless. People seem to have the ability to find people everywhere and they aren't treated as poorly as me. It just feels all the more hopeless. I'm too realistic to think that if I hang out at home and develop self esteem that some gorgeous creature will develop out of the woodwork and sweep me away.