I wonder if you could just start with observations, and not emotions (ie. "I've noticed that you asked me to share my writing, and yet you haven't read what I've written... Do you think the system we set up is working?"). Sometimes I find that less threatening, and your emotions may come out eventually, but starting with the facts might be easier. The only way to know what she's thinking or why she didn't read it is to have the discussion. If you try to figure it out on your own, you'll just be guessing. Messy is part of the process. You don't have to go away and sort yourself out first... that's what the therapy is about. I know it's super hard though when you're feeling vulnerable.