Well, your mom could be reason #1 for the feelings about women.

I hope you feel better soon- I'll sign off soon...just wanted to say
This interview link for example--this comedienne is so self-hating and humble that she can't see her own strengths and power at all. I don't think it is what you would expect. She actually calls herself a POS yet the interview is unlike anything I've heard about mental illness. It is so honest and scary.

Hoping you can get past your initial response because she seems like a kindred spirit to PC people.