Wow. That was a huge violation of your privacy. No, a spouse wouldn't and couldn't fill every emotional need of their partner. To even ask that is unbelievable. I've always taken couples as each having a separate life and coming together to create a third life, not one life consisting of only them. I can't even imagine the 'one' life thing. How boring would that be? To me, very.

Now, as to the violation of your email privacy: to me, this would be a big deal. I'd have to take my partner in to see my therapist and to discuss the matter up front. No, your partner shouldn't be absolved of this intrusion and yes, both you and your therapist deserve to be able to speak openly to one another without fear of being spied upon.

If it were me, that appointment would be an immediate priority.